From the archives: My 5 biggest learnings after entering the unknown

Many people say quitting a job without knowing what comes next is a brave move. Well, it is!

Let me add this: For a person who loves to be in control and to plan everything very precisely (sounds like me!) it is even harder.

Doing so during a global pandemic… what the h*** was I thinking?

So I thought it’d be interesting for you to share my 5 biggest learnings 3 months after entering the unknown:

1. Don’t stress yourself 😌

For me one of the biggest challenges even before quitting my job were questions like this to myself: "Who am I actually without my job?" and "What do other people think of me if I am unemployed?", "What if nothing successful comes out of this?", "What if finding something new exciting for myself will take far longer than expected?".

Let go of your own inner critic.

This is just too much pressure. The true question I should've asked myself is: Why do I bother? And what is the worst thing that could happen? This is all about me. About me wanting change. About me longing for "more" or simply "different". This is about me finding out what I love or maybe just proving to myself that this one idea is what I should to.

It's not about other people.

And yes, people ask and they will continue asking what you're up to but I've learned over time: If you are fine with your decision and you know that this is the right thing for you to do - then you will answer with a confident smile and say: "I don't know yet. I'm here to find out."

And this will feel good.

2. Expect things to happen differently than you think 🤡

Ha, we all know this, right? But still we expect things to go fast, easy, great or as expected. Well, (sadly) I chose not to take the easy way because easy would've eventually been waiting in my former job - in my comfort zone - for the next job that might interest me, that helps me climb the career ladder or earn more money. I knew though that I was a 180% person, so finding something on the side, also with lots of responsibility and being loyal to my employer was nothing that worked for me. I just wasn't able to make the time.

So quitting without anything new on the side felt right at some point as I wanted to give myself exactly the time I deserved to make a good decision.

Truly the past three months have felt like a rollercoaster to me.

I was sooo excited and proud of myself for the decision to quit my job and finally have time for myself, I planned on taking two months off, to take a break, to furnish the new apartment, to read and learn. It worked fine for the first two months - I did enjoy my time off and was able to answer with a confident smile to others that I would want to find out what comes next during this time off. After exactly those two months (that I was planning and expecting) everything felt hard though. Because the real unknown started just then. I felt like after a boat crash -- no idea what comes next, no goal (therefore learning was no option either - because what to start with? for what?), no drive, no motivation. I ended up sitting on the couch watching Netflix all day long and being annoyed by myself for 2 weeks. People telling me to read this, and do some course here and just do that - annoyed me even more!!!$?!

I started doubting myself:

"Was this the right decision?"

"Omg, I should've just found another job and be happy with that."

3. Stay brave 💪🏻

Wait, what? No, no, no...

What I truly learned in this time is to expect down phases and embrace them. To accept them. They will come for sure and you can't always be confident. When parents, grandparents, and friends ask you for the 100th time: “SO, WHAT ARE YOU DOING NOW???” They don't mean it in a bad way - they care about you or might just not know what else to ask you.

But what you truly have to remind yourself in this specific moment before making a fast move in the wrong direction (as feeling too much pressure on yourself):

What is the worst thing that can happen?

Is there a true (e.g. financial) urgency or are you only pressuring yourself? Or even worse: getting pressured by others? What could possibly go wrong? That you waste 4 months or maybe even 1 year of your time? So what? And to be honest: Is it really wasted or is it the perfect time to get to know yourself better and find out what is getting you out of bed in the morning?

I learned to find my gut feeling during this time again. Feeling myself. Yes. I somehow went numb before, didn't pause anymore, didn't listen to myself — to what my body needs, what my heart tells me, what excites me. It helped me so much to keep balanced and especially to keep calm, to stay strong — by just embracing the hard times, the hard feelings.

So stay brave. Take your time. It's worth it.

4. Talk to as many people as you can! 💬

I had told myself that I would announce my leaving via social media because then people would know that I was leaving and would surely approach me with new job offers (The idea of founding a company was in the back of my mind already but I still wanted to have a fall back option at that time). Ha, well say hello to Covid! People didn't have many jobs to offer at that time. Some approached me but it surely was far less than I would've expected or hoped for. It's a global crisis — what was I thinking? Well, to be completely honest... I decided to quit before the pandemic hit us this hard but I still said to myself that I won't wait until after. Might be a bit naive. But it's not going to be any easier if you do it later — trust me.

You gotta jump anyways.

My second thought was, that it would be great to go to conferences, events, meet-ups — get to know people, and catch up with others. Something that just comes easy to me. Well say hello to Covid, once again!

That didn't work... so I started reaching out to people I knew, met via Google Hangouts, went for a walk (in distance!), or met via Lunchclub (a very cool startup that matches you with people with similar interests — in your city or around the globe). Just talk, understand their problems, and their needs, talk about big and small ideas, and get feedback on thoughts. Simply getting inspired.

Wow, that worked well! It helped me so much to get a better idea of what's out there, what I like, what I don't like, bouncing ideas back and forth.

It helped me strengthen my idea of wanting to found a company, too. And at the same time build a network of like-minded people — great!

This truly has been so important. You might have a strong network already, maybe not — but never underestimate the importance of talking to others and especially asking for help or simply getting advice, talking about your situation. I got so many intros to tools, books, articles, people — what else could one wish for?

Things just add up step by step...

5. Confidence is a self-fulfilling prophecy 💫

Through talking to people I met this awesome other woman who was in the same situation as me, who had just quit her job, who had the same intentions about starting a company, who had similar ideas and dreams, and guess what: we are now on the move to founding a company! Together.

It took so much pressure off my shoulders to know I was in this with someone else. I know I have somewhat of a plan again, a roadmap for myself and us, but we still embrace the unknown and take things as they come.

We don't know if we succeed but this stays true:

Confidence is a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you don't believe in yourself, think positive, and take chances things won't change for the better.

Don't let fear or self-doubts make decisions for you. Let opportunity guide you.

The worst thing that can happen is that you learn. ✨

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FYI: This article was cross-posted from Linkedin and was published on October 1, 2020